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You're So Good...!

14/8/2015

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I heard it again today, for the 47th time. From one of the school mums, as is often the case. As I'm making playdate plans or dropping off a kid I might explain my schedule or sweaty state in that I have been to/going to the gym. They almost inevitably say: "Oh you're so good!"

I'm not training to be "good". 


I do 15+ hours a week at the box/gym/Forge training, plus travel time. That's time that could be spent doing wholesome things with my family, volunteering  in the community or earning income. I spend $150+ a week on fees, equipment, supplements, and travel to competitions. That's money that could be more virtuously invested, saved for a family holiday or donated to charity. Those would be "good" things to spend it on. 
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I suspect this is what many women mean when they think of working out as being good. Trying to look attractive to pay the debt they think they owe for being female.
In Western culture there is a deep rooted, historical correlation between the perception of female goodness and being thin*. A modern expression of this is our pervasive Fat Phobia. Stacey Toth of Paleo Parents writes in a blog post Dear America, Get Over Your Fat Phobia of her own experiences. "I was once obese. And I am the same woman then as I am today. I’m smaller. Smarter, perhaps. But there’s no reason I should be treated differently today than I was 3 years ago – and sadly, I am." She writes about how fit and strong she is while still being "overweight", and the negative reactions to her appearance she endures. 

Am I training to get skinny, or because I'm scared of fat? Hell no. I've wasted enough of my life hopelessly, hungrily, trying to beat my evolutionary conditioning. At 34, I'm proud to say that I'm too old for that shit. From my own and other people's experience, I'm certain that trying to be skinny only leads to misery. It's not a worthwhile pursuit. 

In powerlifting, bigger supports stronger. I'm a few kilos under the weight limit for my class and easily keep my weight stable. I don't eat much sugar or junk food not because I fear getting fat, but because it makes me feel sluggish when I want to go fast. Burning calories is rarely on my mind when I'm training. Getting stronger and faster is. 

So it's not about being"good", or about getting skinny. So what then? Why do I train? It would be foolish to have it occupy such a large chunk of my life without knowing for what purpose. 

I'm definitely not training to fill in time. 

I'm not training to post gym selfies or have cut abs. I'm not doing it to stay young, or to hold the eyes of my husband. I'm not doing it to pay rent for the space I occupy labeled "female". 

I'm not doing to inspire anyone, or be a good example as a parent, to support my local box. 

I'm not doing it just so I can eat crap and not get fat, or for the endorphins, or to socialise. 

It's not out of habit, duty or obligation either. 

I don't train to earn respect or to prove anything to anyone. 

It's not about therapy or for my mental health, or even because it's fun. 

These days it's not about getting fitter, to beat chronic pain, or to gain confidence. I ticked those off within a year of normal CrossFit classes. 

Many of these reasons above are legitimate and do serve as motivation, some of the time. None of these are enough, even altogether, for me to train the way I do. 

I train because I love competing. I want to do as well as I possibly can in every competition I do. I want to represent my country. I want to find out the potential of my human body. 

I train out of bloody-minded, selfish ambition. 

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Some of the minor scrapes and bumps I've gathered over a few years of CrossFit. Does CrossFit make attractive shins? Hell no. Still worth it? Hell yeah.
Some articles I have read recently that have set off my thinking (besides being told I am good for the umpteenth time) for this blog post:

The Ronda Rousey Effect and Why Strong Still Isn't the New Skinny
I'm Too Old For This
Letter to My Daughters: Do Not Be Good


*See, for example: 
The Wikipedia on Anorexia Mirabilis, and 
An article from The Guardian about historical and modern anorexia.



Do you work out? Work out what? Or do you train? For what?
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Janet de Wagt - Referencing the Land

7/8/2015

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Lakes District Museum & Gallery, Arrowtown 24 July - 30 August 2015

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Gallery view
'Referencing the Land', a solo exhibition by Janet de Wagt now on at the Lakes District Museum and Gallery, is a journey through the south of New Zealand in different seasons and lights.  In her gouache paintings the sunlight diffuses through clouds, glances off tin, ripples off foliage and  sears the rocks to show up the distinctive character of each landscape she paints. This exhibition represents one small work on paper a day done over nine months. 

The Gallery has printed old-style road signs to title each groupings of paintings with their location. The journey starts at the left of the gallery and continues around the room, including two dramatic large acrylic paintings. 

If you look closely, you'll find a sandfly set into the paint of the large 'The Devil's Own Staircase', evidence of one of the hazards of the plein-air painting practice that Janet is committed to.  Imagine the sandflies that would be stuck to a large painting done at Milford Sound! The small works, 190mm x 150mm,  are painted with gouache on paper. The gouache is thinner and thus faster to use than acrylics, but with more intensity of colour than watercolours. All of these paintings done plein-air, but I couldn't find any sandflies stuck to the gouache, even on the Monowai series.  

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The 'Wanaka' group
The paintings are rewarding when viewed as individual works, but when you are in the gallery step back and consider each group of landscapes as a whole. Compare them to the other geographic groupings of paintings. You'll see the differences in geology, topography, vegetation and quality of light. Try to figure out what time of year the paintings were done. Some have obvious clues such as blossom, but in many it's the sky and light that will look familiar to a certain season. 


In the Te Anau series, pastureland, human constructions and crisp light convey the spirit of the basin. The lake Monowai series, although geographically close to Te Anau, is an offering of steepness and depth, glacier valleys, water and shadow. This is is utterly distinctive from the Crown Range series of gravel screes, herringbone clouds and battered hills just resisting the dry erosion around them. 
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'Hawea Toilet and Rubbish Bin" 190 x 150mm
'Hawea Toilet and Rubbish Bin' is an example of what stuck me as unusual about this exhibition. It is a departure from Janet's usual exuberant expressiveness. This painting has precise, careful lines and shapes. A stark contrast is made between the sharply-defined  shaded objects in the foreground and the mountains clouded with atmospheric perspective looming in the background. The glaring sun is just out of the frame, visible rays wafting down to backlight the image. 
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'Sun Going Down - Te Anau' 190 x 150mm
This high contrast and sharpness of form are seen again in 'Sun Going Down - Te Anau'. In this painting, even though the sunlight is muted, the twilight intensifies the blacks and deep blues. Yellow road signs glow out of the evening. The scene is instantly familiar, the striking beauty often glanced out of a car window but too fleeting to savour. It's a treat to examine it in leisure in this painting. 
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"Behind Arrowtown in Autumn, NZ" 2012, Acrylic on canvas, 2.5 x 1.5 m
The two large canvasses that hang at the back of the gallery are more typical of Janet's paintings. In "Behind Arrowtown in Autumn" swishing trees, soaring hills and violent colour stir up a cacophony of light and movement. This vivacious expressionism will have been honed by countless hours studying the precise forms and exact colours shown in the small landscape studies. 


Anna Claire Thompson
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    Anna Claire Thompson is an Artist, a mother and a strength athlete. 

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