I heard it again today, for the 47th time. From one of the school mums, as is often the case. As I'm making playdate plans or dropping off a kid I might explain my schedule or sweaty state in that I have been to/going to the gym. They almost inevitably say: "Oh you're so good!"
I'm not training to be "good".
I do 15+ hours a week at the box/gym/Forge training, plus travel time. That's time that could be spent doing wholesome things with my family, volunteering in the community or earning income. I spend $150+ a week on fees, equipment, supplements, and travel to competitions. That's money that could be more virtuously invested, saved for a family holiday or donated to charity. Those would be "good" things to spend it on.
I'm not training to be "good".
I do 15+ hours a week at the box/gym/Forge training, plus travel time. That's time that could be spent doing wholesome things with my family, volunteering in the community or earning income. I spend $150+ a week on fees, equipment, supplements, and travel to competitions. That's money that could be more virtuously invested, saved for a family holiday or donated to charity. Those would be "good" things to spend it on.
I suspect this is what many women mean when they think of working out as being good. Trying to look attractive to pay the debt they think they owe for being female.
In Western culture there is a deep rooted, historical correlation between the perception of female goodness and being thin*. A modern expression of this is our pervasive Fat Phobia. Stacey Toth of Paleo Parents writes in a blog post Dear America, Get Over Your Fat Phobia of her own experiences. "I was once obese. And I am the same woman then as I am today. I’m smaller. Smarter, perhaps. But there’s no reason I should be treated differently today than I was 3 years ago – and sadly, I am." She writes about how fit and strong she is while still being "overweight", and the negative reactions to her appearance she endures.
Am I training to get skinny, or because I'm scared of fat? Hell no. I've wasted enough of my life hopelessly, hungrily, trying to beat my evolutionary conditioning. At 34, I'm proud to say that I'm too old for that shit. From my own and other people's experience, I'm certain that trying to be skinny only leads to misery. It's not a worthwhile pursuit.
In powerlifting, bigger supports stronger. I'm a few kilos under the weight limit for my class and easily keep my weight stable. I don't eat much sugar or junk food not because I fear getting fat, but because it makes me feel sluggish when I want to go fast. Burning calories is rarely on my mind when I'm training. Getting stronger and faster is.
Am I training to get skinny, or because I'm scared of fat? Hell no. I've wasted enough of my life hopelessly, hungrily, trying to beat my evolutionary conditioning. At 34, I'm proud to say that I'm too old for that shit. From my own and other people's experience, I'm certain that trying to be skinny only leads to misery. It's not a worthwhile pursuit.
In powerlifting, bigger supports stronger. I'm a few kilos under the weight limit for my class and easily keep my weight stable. I don't eat much sugar or junk food not because I fear getting fat, but because it makes me feel sluggish when I want to go fast. Burning calories is rarely on my mind when I'm training. Getting stronger and faster is.
So it's not about being"good", or about getting skinny. So what then? Why do I train? It would be foolish to have it occupy such a large chunk of my life without knowing for what purpose.
I'm definitely not training to fill in time.
I'm not training to post gym selfies or have cut abs. I'm not doing it to stay young, or to hold the eyes of my husband. I'm not doing it to pay rent for the space I occupy labeled "female".
I'm not doing to inspire anyone, or be a good example as a parent, to support my local box.
I'm not doing it just so I can eat crap and not get fat, or for the endorphins, or to socialise.
It's not out of habit, duty or obligation either.
I don't train to earn respect or to prove anything to anyone.
It's not about therapy or for my mental health, or even because it's fun.
These days it's not about getting fitter, to beat chronic pain, or to gain confidence. I ticked those off within a year of normal CrossFit classes.
Many of these reasons above are legitimate and do serve as motivation, some of the time. None of these are enough, even altogether, for me to train the way I do.
I train because I love competing. I want to do as well as I possibly can in every competition I do. I want to represent my country. I want to find out the potential of my human body.
I train out of bloody-minded, selfish ambition.
I'm definitely not training to fill in time.
I'm not training to post gym selfies or have cut abs. I'm not doing it to stay young, or to hold the eyes of my husband. I'm not doing it to pay rent for the space I occupy labeled "female".
I'm not doing to inspire anyone, or be a good example as a parent, to support my local box.
I'm not doing it just so I can eat crap and not get fat, or for the endorphins, or to socialise.
It's not out of habit, duty or obligation either.
I don't train to earn respect or to prove anything to anyone.
It's not about therapy or for my mental health, or even because it's fun.
These days it's not about getting fitter, to beat chronic pain, or to gain confidence. I ticked those off within a year of normal CrossFit classes.
Many of these reasons above are legitimate and do serve as motivation, some of the time. None of these are enough, even altogether, for me to train the way I do.
I train because I love competing. I want to do as well as I possibly can in every competition I do. I want to represent my country. I want to find out the potential of my human body.
I train out of bloody-minded, selfish ambition.
Some of the minor scrapes and bumps I've gathered over a few years of CrossFit. Does CrossFit make attractive shins? Hell no. Still worth it? Hell yeah.
Some articles I have read recently that have set off my thinking (besides being told I am good for the umpteenth time) for this blog post:
The Ronda Rousey Effect and Why Strong Still Isn't the New Skinny
I'm Too Old For This
Letter to My Daughters: Do Not Be Good
The Ronda Rousey Effect and Why Strong Still Isn't the New Skinny
I'm Too Old For This
Letter to My Daughters: Do Not Be Good
*See, for example:
The Wikipedia on Anorexia Mirabilis, and
An article from The Guardian about historical and modern anorexia.
Do you work out? Work out what? Or do you train? For what?
The Wikipedia on Anorexia Mirabilis, and
An article from The Guardian about historical and modern anorexia.
Do you work out? Work out what? Or do you train? For what?
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